do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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