You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
