just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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