She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
