I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
