I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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