Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
