I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dick very happy bro
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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