Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My penis needs a shock collar
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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