dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
