Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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