would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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