I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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