I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
