Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
