wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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