Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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