Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
