so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
