and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
