you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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