And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We left the knife in your bed.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize