just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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