I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
