dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
