at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
