why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
