is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
