So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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