she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
