i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
