Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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