you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
