I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize