Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
