she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
