He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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