We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
