Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
