If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
