She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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