Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
