Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
