I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize