Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
