I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
