Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
