What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
