he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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