I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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