Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize