she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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