plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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