Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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