The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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