Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
time to smoke my breakfast
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
