Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
