she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
In America we eat man semen.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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