Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
