He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
"it" just moved
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize