New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
