shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
