i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
