I smell stomach acid.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
