He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Randomize
