dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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